**** Blog Reset ****
Falling for the “Dead Nose Virus” scam, the Grishams allow Dixie to be abducted – by whom and for what purpose is unclear.
Using K2′s animal rescue connections, Donald and Doc ( his enigmatic brother-in-law) spend several days in the Ozarks searching for Dixie.
What they find is a military-style compound holding hundreds of animals, including a weakened malnurished Dixie.
Fashioning a sled out of old boards and a blanket they begin dragging Dixie uphill to the car when (1) Armed Guards surged out of the Compound (2) A Horrific Thunderstorm began pounding the Ozarks.
Dixie finds the strength to rise and fight beside Donald, as they make their stand. The first shot has been fired, disppearing into the storm with Donald’s hat.
**** End of Blog Reset ****
( I’m not a guy who puts much credence in miracles…. but sometimes things happen which make you wonder…)
“Donald is that you ?… Sorry Brudder, I can’t see much in this storm”
“Sissy ???? What are you doing here, and did you just almost kill me ?”
” I said I was sorry…. Dawn said you and Dixie were in trouble, so…if you’ll point out who I should be firing at… we’ll get you guys out of here”
‘Okay. How about anyone coming up the hill”
Just then we heard a small explosion and a missile flew by us knocking several of the guards off their feet, sliding in the mud back down the hill. No, not a missile… but a potato ??
“That was for Dixie…you mercenary bastards…. there’s plenty more where that came from !!”
The STUMPS ?!?!
“We can’t stay long, Donald…I’m about to be a Grandpa you know. How about the punch I added to the latest Potato Gun…those guys will be out for hours.”
“Ron, tell him about the RV,, he’ll love that”
“Alright Kim… give me a minute, we’re in a shoot-out here you know”
[ Hey... someone didn't ask me to not use their real names - well Kim asked me not to mention their dog's name ]
“Ron, what are you guys doing here ?”
“Dawn and K2 said you and Dixie were in trouble…we’d have been here sooner, but Kim missed the old guy in the Yellow Hat.”
Kim gives Ron ‘The Look‘… “Ron, I told you…he wasn’t wearing it…really Donald, he wasn’t wearing the hat!”
Ron rolls his eyes. “anyway, Donald let me show you the RV. Its a prototype my company is developing for HomeLand Security. We’re calling it “The War Wagon” , from the John Wayne, Kirk Douglas movie.”
Kim, shivering; “Ron, I’m going in… its too wet and muddy out here, but tell Donald what I call it.”
Ron presses a button on his key ring and a ramp extends from the RV; “She calls it the Willy Wonka-Mobile, this vehicle is incredible Donald… it has this new Super All Wheel Drive…. Medical Slide-Outs…Satellite Weather monitoring and Eye-in-the-Sky Video Displays…. it will go Amphibious… oh… and get this… I can call for a couple of Predator Drones to strafe the hell out of these guys!”
Ron presses another button and the RV engine starts roaring; “I had it in Stealth Mode…Kim’s right, lets get everyone inside and finish these guys off”
[ at this point I'm wondering when the Cheshire Cat and Mad Hatter are going to show up ]
“Okay Ron… lets see this Beast of yours in Action…. hey…. where’s my sister… Doc…Dixie…. where did they go… DOC… DIXIE !?!? “
[ Damn... now what's happened? ]
Ron pressed yet another button…and the RV revealed a Flood Light Array, illuminating the hill top.
Then, as if on cue…. looking like that famous picture from the Revolutionary War of the 3 marching soldiers; 2 drumming, 1 carrying the American Flag… Doc, Dixie, and Sissy emerged out of the shadows.
“Hey Wyatt”, Doc shouted, shielding his eyes…. “Will you ask that guy with the fancy Lunch Wagon to lower the wattage?”
“Doc… where did you guys go… what happened?”
“Well Butch, while you guys were playing with your Tonka Trucks….Calamity Jane – “
“That’s my new name”, Sissy interjected
“…Calamity Jane and this Special Dog of yours…..we slipped down the hill. First we gained control of the command center with some of CJ’s Fancy Shooting…”
“Thank you Doc’, Sissy was beaming
“… and a few Tear Gas Grenades…..then we watched Dixie chase the guards on this hill into the woods”
Doc started laughing, “You should have seen it Wyatt….they wanted no part of her… they scattered like… how does that Johnny Horton song go ? ….they ran through the briars, they ran through the brambles, they ran through the bushes where the rabbits couldn’t go, they ran so fast that the hounds couldn’t catch ‘em, down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico…. this is one special dog.”
Sissy jumped in, “Donald…Sissy needs to eat!, shooting always makes me hungry. Do they have any food in there…or do I have to go find a buffet?”
Ron nodded, “You bet… we installed the Rachel Ray Add-on Package, we can fire up anything you want.”
**** Aftermath ****
Sissy was fed. The Local Authorities started rounding up the remaining mercenaries at large. K2 showed up to inventory the animals at the compound. Dawn and Kim gave Dixie the care and pampering she deserved. Doc was working on embellishing the story, so as to birth his Legend.
Ron and I went through the Compound’s Computer Systems to discover who was behind these animal abductions and for what purpose. What we uncovered was incredible…
“Ron… did you show Donald the RV’s upgraded Wii Gaming System ? “
Excuse me… I’ll have to save those revelations for another blog….
That was awesome. Glad Sissy was able to help!!! Where was that wuss Big Dog? Probably still whining about being 65 now. I love Doc…he is my new hero. Can’t wait to find out who those a-holes are who are messing with defensless animals…pigs that’s what they are. Let me know if you need any more help cleaning things up. What an adventure – best one Sissy ever had. Thanks